Save The Drama For Your Mama

Posted April 19, 2012 by boofinch
Categories: Uncategorized

I write when I’m depressed.  When I’m sad.  When I’m so fucking Lost I feel like Al Pacino in that abortion of a film he somehow won an Oscar for.  Actually, I write whether I’m depressed or not, I just write much better when I’m in the Dark and it’s almost the only stuff I actually post here lately. It’s certainly the only stuff that’s any good.

Fear.  Desperation.  Anger.  Hate.  Self doubt.  Self Loathing.  Insecurity.  Jealousy.  These fuel my creativity and my pen/sword, mighty though it may not be.  This is why  I haven’t posted anything in a while.  I’ve been doing… let’s not cocky kid, we’ll just call it Better.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s still a long path to walk.  But I think that perhaps, the Abyss is behind me.  It was a very dark few weeks for me, for many reasons.  Some of which I elaborated on here and others that I did not.  But the worst has, hopefully at least, passed.  And I am better, stronger and happier for it.  I know it may come around again. Actually, I know that it will come around again.  Somehow, someway, I’ll be dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight again at some point.  It is unavoidable.  Like some old enemy that reappears to haunt your dreams from time to time.  But I’m armed now.  Bring it the fuck on.

I haven’t been posting, but I have been writing.  All kinds of stuff, much of which I really like.  But it’s disjointed and I can’t find the common thread.  I’ve got one in the hopper that I’ve debated just hitting the PUBLISH key on for a while now, but it roams and rambles so much, even for me, that I keep hesitating.  Hoping I’ll find the magic thread to tie it all together when in reality I should either just say “fuck it” and post it up and move on, or just say “fuck it” and delete the whole thing and start from scratch.  Either way I get to say “fuck it” so no matter the outcome, it wouldn’t be a total loss.  Each paragraph seems to be the start of an all new piece- slightly connected but also not at all.  Okay, we’re in the pipe: five by five.  Somebody wake up Hicks.

See?  Lines like that last one.  Or last two, to be exact.  That shit lights me up.  When I can pull a random line from a 26 year old movie that no one reading this will get, I get a kick out of it.  (Holy shitballs, Batman! 26 years?!?)  But I digress.  As usual.  Look, here’s the thing:  I’m getting my shit together.  Slowly.  But fuckin’ surely.  Or Shirley, if you’re an Airplane fan.  And if you aren’t, well then what are you doing here?  I went from a 27 on the Beck Depression Inventory a few weeks ago, to a 4 today.  So I got that goin’ for me.  Which is nice.

It’s kind of hard to believe, but I’m pretty happy.  That may not sound like much, but it’s a new thing for me.  And I’m diggin’ it.  All it took was me changing my entire outlook on the world.  Piece o’ cake, right?  Well, if you baked that cake over the course of 20 or 25 years, then yeah, sure.  It was a long time coming, but once it hit, the switch flipped.  Like I said, a long path still to walk, but at least I’m on the right one now.

Much, much more to write but it is late and I am exhausted.  Actually, it’s only 10:15pm, but I am exhausted.  Up since 4:30am and working the hamster wheel the bulk of the day and I’m simply wiped.  Planning to do a 100k mountain bike race in Pueblo, CO on Saturday- that should be interesting.  Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight.  Regardless, it’s gonna be a sufferfest.  I can’t wait.

Might be time for a little Greg Brown action around here.  Sorry if this wasn’t depressing enough for you.

Sadness come to my house with a stinking bouquet

Smiled with her thin gray lips and said,

“Honey, I’m home to stay.”

And I said, “Go away and leave me alone.

Go away and leave me.”

 

That’s one relationship that I’m happy to be getting out of.  See ya.  Wouldn’t want to be ya.

 

Nine One One

Posted April 3, 2012 by boofinch
Categories: Uncategorized

 

Life is an emergency, a red alert.                                                    

Fire in the hole! Fire in the hole!

Take it now or leave it to those who do

 

My older brother Duncan wrote those words.  They are the opening lines of a poem called 911.  Not Nine-Eleven as in September 11, 2001.  Nine-One-One as in, “Call 911 you dumb fuck, your life is passing you by.”  Indeed, my brother.  Indeed.

The poem in its entirety is at the bottom of this post.  It’s Good.  I assure you that his words are far better than any of mine have ever been.   You are probably best served by taking Prince Humperdink’s advice and avoiding all the bullshit I’m about to spew.   In fact, please do.

Duncan died in October of 2007.   I don’t want to do this but fuck it, I’m not sure I really have a choice at this point.  As all those asshole acting teachers I had in LA used to say:  Assume the position.

Have you noticed how I haven’t posted anything in a while?  Yeah, that’s because, not only do I not want to write this, I don’t even want to think about it.   And, by and large, for the last four and a half years, I haven’t.  Not in any real way at least.    Mostly because I feel like I should have so much to say, but I’m not sure I do.   I mean, what the fuck is there to say?  Because it’s been four and a half years and I still can’t come up with a goddamn thing.

What does it mean to “deal with” the death of a loved one?  I am clueless.  Completely without clue.  But whatever it is, I’m pretty sure that I haven’t done it.  It just wasn’t an option at the time.  I packed it down pretty deep to get through those first few weeks; to be able to handle the details and be as fake-strong as I could for those around me.   Sure, a lot of emotion still came through anyway, but it was only a fraction of what was there.  Now, as I finally let myself grieve for the loss of the Dream Girl, everything else is coming up as well.  Once you start, it can be tough to stop.  Fucking Hell.

You want the story?  Fine. Here’s the fucking story as best as I can tell it.  Happy now?  Yeah, that’s how big of an asshole I am- I turned it into an acting monologue.  That’s as close as I ever came to talking about it.  That way, if I cry or show any emotion at all, it’s not weakness, it’s just acting, right?  Right.  But there’s a lot more to it than just the Last Fucking Supper.

A day or two before he left, he asked me to take him to get some clothes.  New jeans.  I didn’t think twice about it at the time, bro needs some new dungarees, let’s make it happen.  But since then?  Yeah, it’s crossed my mind a few thousand times.  Who the hell buys new clothes two days before they plan to shuffle off this mortal coil?   Does that mean he wasn’t planning it at the time but something happened to cause it?  Because if that’s the case, that shit is pretty much gonna have to be on me.   So you can see how that’s not much fun to think about, yes?

One day during his visit I mentioned I’d had Enough of the shitbox that is LA and I was planning to move.  He asked if he could live with me when that happened.  God-damnit if I didn’t hesitate for a moment- the briefest of fucking moments- to reply that he might want to wait until I knew where I was going before committing to moving there.  He said he didn’t care, but I think he felt that hesitation.  Did he get the idea I didn’t want him to live with me?   That certainly wasn’t my intent but I wonder how it came across.  Was that the Last Straw?  That’s a question I’ll know the answer to Never, no matter how much I think about it.  What I do know is that four and a half years of thinking about it doesn’t get you any closer to Never than you were when you started.  Because I’ve tried that.

I suppose there were two ways for me to go with this whole shit sandwich of an event.  First, I could feel incredibly special and lucky that he chose to spend his last week with me and take solace in that fact, as heartbreaking as the situation was.  Or two, I could spend four and a half years going over every last detail from that week trying to pinpoint what it is that I said or did (or didn’t say or didn’t do) that caused him to do what he did.   Unless you’re new here, I’m guessing you have a pretty good idea which way I went with that one, eh?  Yeah, express elevator to hell, going Down.

But it’s bigger than that last week we spent together.  A lot bigger.  Here’s the thing:  Everything always works out for me.  Sure, I work hard and all that, but life has been very good to me in countless ways.  For Duncan, not so much.  Dude could not catch a break.  I’m not going to go into the entire history because frankly, it’s none of your damn business, but I will say that he struggled with mental illness for fifteen years before he pulled the plug.   I’m not very comfortable writing that because it wasn’t something he liked people knowing.  But it’s true.  He was a brave mother fucker and I am honored and humbled to be his Brother. I just wish I’d been better at it.

As far as I can tell, the only thing he ever really wanted, was to be a regular guy with a regular life.  A decent job befitting someone as unbelievably smart as he was. Not that he wanted to be a nuclear physicist or some shit like that, just a decent job that paid a living wage and not some $7 an hour gig busting his ass and breaking his back.  A nice little house.  Maybe a dog.  And a girl to share that life with.  Pretty much everything that I’ve been running from my whole life for fear of being Ordinary.  That’s all he wanted- everything that I didn’t because it was too easy for me.  Of course, I could be completely wrong about all of that, it’s very possible.  But that’s how I see it and that’s how I feel it.

So there’s a lot of guilt there.  And if my amateur psycho analysis is worth anything, (doubtful) that all might play into my difficulties with being happy.  I have felt for a very long time, that I simply didn’t deserve to feel good about my life.  If I enjoyed all the wonderful things I had- the great career as an artist, the luck of getting a television show, the cute little house, the love of the Dream Girl- well that wouldn’t be fair to him, right?  So I chose to have all those things, but to not enjoy them.  What an Asshole.  Duncan probably wanted me to succeed and be happy more than I did.  Imagine how fucked it must have been for him to see me with Everything and not even enjoying it.  Like I said, what an Asshole.

So here I am, typing away at 5:30ish on a Tuesday morning.  Perhaps not as desperately as I was a week or two ago, but typing nonetheless.  I have to.  OK, I suppose I don’t have to.  If I’m comfortable with my life staying exactly the way it is, then by all means, I could just call it a day and catch some Zs.  Sounds easy enough.  Fuck, it is easy enough.  I should know, that’s what I’ve been doing as far back as I can remember.  Coasting.  Lazy douche.

But that way of life just isn’t gonna make the nut anymore.  Or as my freshman math teacher told us repeatedly- ‘Sorry’ don’t feed the bulldog.  Or something.  The point is, in order to be sure I stay on the right path here, I’m committed to a few things:

Number one- staying in therapy for at least three months, no matter what.  And just for the record, no I do not expect to undo a lifetime of shit in three months. Sure, I am going twice a week so that’s more like six months, but still.  I fully expect to be in it longer than that, but that’s the minimum I’ve set for myself no matter how much I hate it.  And I hate it an awful lot.  It’s hard.  It’s uncomfortable.  It’s fucking expensive.  And it’s not very environmentally friendly, what with the ridonculous amounts of Kleenex I go through.  But, it is also kind of nice to go into a room with a stranger and just be honest for an hour.  Well, it’s nice when it’s over anyway.   On the drive there, you’re tense, anxious, unhappy.  On the way home, you’re a bit lighter, a bit more hopeful, a bit More.   It’s the exact opposite of going to Vegas.

Number two- drugs.  The legal kind anyway.  I’m committed to staying on anti depressants for at least six months.  I’ve avoided admitting that I might not be able to handle the World all by myself for a very long time.  I’m resourceful, I’m persistent, I’m clever, I can do it by myself.  Of course, that begs the question, right?  Ok, point taken.  Six months, minimum.  We’ll see how that goes.  It can’t really get any worse, right?

My third and final commitment (in this context anyway) is to keep writing.  Like the therapy sessions, it seems helpful if for no other reason than it’s a time when I can simply be honest.  And I’ve been writing.  A lot.  I haven’t posted all of it.  Not even close.  And I don’t intend to.  Some of it is not appropriate.  Some of it is not relevant.  And some of it is just none of your damn business.   This one may fall into a couple of those categories, but I don’t know what else to do with it.

And so it goes.  Sure, I’m still a mess with a lot of shit to “deal with”, whatever that means, but I am moving forward.  Slowly?  Indeed.  But forward nonetheless.  People tell me to “get over it, forget the girl and just focus on yourself.”  Dude.  I tried that for years, decades even- it doesn’t make me happy.

And now I walk a fine line between knowing that the odds of that relationship working out are very slim, and the need to take care of myself.  Those commitments I listed are the ways in which I’m taking care of myself.  As to the long odds on the other?  Even at a million to one, it seems a chance worth holding onto.  I mean, a million to one, that by definition is not impossible, right?  So I got that going for me.  Besides, who doesn’t love an underdog?

So I’ll keep on keepin’ on.  Working on myself and holding on to some Hope for a better future.   And trying to always remember that life is indeed an emergency.  A goddamned beautiful, fucked up, amazing, twisted, savage, unfair, delightful, Cruel and Kind Emergency that is only as wonderful or as horrible as you make it for as long as each of us is lucky enough to get.

Fire in the fucking hole, man.

911

Life is an emergency, a red alert.                                                    

Fire in the hole! Fire in the hole!

 

Take it now or leave it to those who do                                                                                

To wrench, rip in tatters or wholes

The hour from the day,

the minute from the hour,

the second from the minute.

 

I see a thousand green lights

Go! Strike out!                                                                                                        

Fly from the repression nest

Of tomorrow, the next day –

Procrastination a missed beat in the march of time.

 

See to it. Do it. Seek it.

It is whatever, as long as something,

A plan, a goal, a love, a fight, a purpose

That drives me on like exploded fuel

To the next moment of decision,

A dead gap, the dark depths, ocean trench

Of a self to be made again in the heart of darkness.

-Duncan Foster, July 2000

 

 

 

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A Douchebag Looks At 40

Posted March 26, 2012 by boofinch
Categories: My Depression

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Things sure turned out Different.

In what way?

Different.

Those few lines are from a beautiful scene in a great film, The Natural.  Robert Redford and Glenn Close talking about what might have been, if only…  I’ve been spending some time there myself lately.  And by “some” of course I mean Every Waking Moment.

The Land of  What If  is not a fun place to be.  At all.  Thoughts of the path you might have taken, the life you might be living if only you had done something differently, can drive a man insane.  Why is it that we never think about all the bad things we may have avoided due to our good choices, only the great things we are missing thanks to our mistakes?  The brain can be a real mother-fucker sometimes, eh?

For Roy Hobbs, it was the lost chance of being “the Best there ever was.”  For me, it wasn’t much different- it was the loss of the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted, too.  Ok, deep breath- let’s fuckin’ do this.

I’ve spent the better part of the last twenty years chasing things.  Money.  Fame.  Sex.  I achieved a decent level of success in all three categories.  Sure, not millions of dollars, starring movie roles or ’round the clock hookers and blow, but I got more than my fair share of each.  And every time I achieved a new goal, instead of celebrating that, enjoying it and being content, I simply raised the bar.  That’s not smart.  But more than that, it ain’t no kinda way to be Happy.  Trust me, I’ve done the research in my own lab.

The saddest part of all of it is that I never really wanted any of those things.  Not nearly as much as I wanted something else, anyway.  What I actually wanted, and this has always been true, was something that I was not only not chasing, but that I was running away from as fast as I could.  Yep. Love.

I know, it’s fucking cheesy as all hell to say that.  But it’s the only thing I know for sure anymore.  Laugh and mock if you want, I don’t give a shit.  As a boy, when I thought about being an adult, the only thing that I ever really envisioned was being happily married to the woman of my dreams.  And somehow I always believed that I would find her, the Dream Girl.  Somehow, someway, I would find my destiny.  Like I said, cheesy macaroni.  Movies with stories of Epic love that overcame all odds and would last forever were what I always secretly enjoyed.  The Princess Bride. Fuckin’ A.  I wanted, and believed I would find, something special like that, silly though it may be.  Hell, even that end scene in When Harry Met Sally- when he tracks her down at the NYE party and gives her the line? That whole “rest of your life” thing.  I want that.  I’ve always wanted that.  I’m a romantic sap I guess, it just got overpowered by douchiness the last coupla decades.

I’ve joked a few times with friends about writing a book about my experiences in LA/Hollywood titled, The Lost Decade: How Ten Years of Chasing Tail Cost Me My Dreams.  The idea, up until now anyway, was based on the idea that if I had put as much time and effort into my acting “career” as I did into getting laid, Brad Pitt would be out of a job.  OK, maybe not Brad Pitt, but Bradley Cooper at least.  Fuck, I can play an arrogant but charming dude who we find ourselves rooting for even though he borders on being an asshole at times. Hell, I’ve been playing that part for years.  Ask anyone.

The irony is that even though my entire perspective of my life has altered, I could still use that same title.  Except that now, it would be a completely different book.  Because when the lost “Dreams” of the book’s title change from the dreams of being an actor, to the dreams of finding a partner, a friend and a lover to spend the rest of my life with, well that’s a different script entirely, isn’t it?  One’s a dude movie, American Gigolo or some such nonsense.  The other is, quite frankly, what is generally referred to as a “chick flick”.  I’m not talking about some piece of shit like Sex and the City, mind you.  I’m just talking an enjoyable “Rom-Com with a Heart” that isn’t dumbed down, doesn’t star Ashton Kutcher, and wasn’t written by lobotomized chimps.  (I know it’s a short list, but they do exist.) More Four Weddings and a Funeral than anything with Matthew McConaughey or Kathryn Heigl in it.  Hugh Grant is much more my casting anyway.

So yeah, I just admitted that the one thing I have always wanted more than anything else, was for my life to resemble a well written chick flick.  Is that so terrible to confess?  Do I have to turn in my MAN card now?   I assure you that I’ve more than earned it these last twenty years by being a huge douchebag to most of the women I’ve dated, (no, I am not saying that makes you a man, you know what I mean) but I’d rather not do that anymore so if you want it, take it.

I’ve tried to figure out where it all went wrong- where I went from being a really nice guy looking for love to being an asshole looking for anything but.  I know I wasn’t always like that.  In high school, I was the furthest thing from a “player.”  I was the standard goofy and girl-shy kid, just trying to get out more than two words whenever I encountered the female of the species.  I was in the Dungeons & Dragons club at my high school, ferchrissakes.  Bottom line: I had zero confidence.  But more than anything else, I was just shy.  Shy as fuck.

Senior year I fell in Love.  True Love we used to call it.  Shit, we were 17, what did we know?  That relationship had its ups and downs, but I tell you this; I always thought we’d just get married and that would be that.  Of course that would have probably been a disaster, but that’s where my brain was at that point.   It wasn’t about getting as much ass as possible, I just wanted to marry that girl from high school.   Of course, we eventually broke up.  I’m not sure I was ever the same.

Somewhere around thirty, I started getting some confidence.  Yeah, it took a while.  And that’s where it all turned to shit.  By that time I was half owner of a successful business and had realized that I was at least not unattractive.  And it just got easier from there.  It started slowly but by the time I had moved to LA to pursue acting, I had a booming art business, a nice house, plenty of dough, and a city full of beautiful young women who couldn’t get enough love at home, so they moved to Hollywood to chase the dream of being loved by millions of strangers instead.  Then I got a TV show.  Then some asshole invented MySpace.  It was like fishing with dynamite.

I became that guy.  And while being that guy looks great on paper, (especially in italics, right?) it’s not what it’s cracked up to be.  I was rarely alone, but I was always lonely.  My life was a constant barrage of indulgences that would quell my loneliness only as long as they lasted. And sometimes not even that long.  It would have been Awesome if it wasn’t so fucking Depressing.  Everything I did to put a band-aid on my loneliness only made it worse.

And then, miraculously, I fell in Love again.  Big Time.  The Dream Girl.  But it had been nearly twenty years and I was out of practice.  It was almost like when the body rejects an organ transplant.  I would have these feelings of Love and Hope for the future that were so foreign to me, they actually made me physically uncomfortable.  I’d forgotten how to love.  I had pushed anything like that down for so goddamn long, that when it would well up in me, I was so uneasy that I would quash it.  And then I’d shut down.  And then I’d run.

Refusing to express my emotions, my love and happiness for the Dream Girl, created turmoil and only fueled my depressive tendencies.  I had no idea how to deal with any of it and it crashed and burned.  Over and over again.   It would go from Great to Hell and back to Great again as I rode the roller coaster of ups and down caused by the depression I refused to even admit I had.  But she kept trying.  And I kept running.  Well, she finally quit trying and I sure as hell don’t blame her.  Of course the irony is that I’ve finally quit running, too.  If only I had beat her to it we might have had a chance.  Sometimes life can do that.  Fuck your shit up, I mean.

It’s funny, well, maybe not that funny, but all the things I have gone after in my life, are the things that make me miserable.   Somehow I got sucked into the desire that I needed to be Cool.  Whatever that is.  And the things that I want, that I actually want and dream about, that’s what I run from.  Dude.  That’s fucked up.  Now, as I’m getting older, every day that ticks by is one more day in which I don’t have the only thing I’ve ever wanted.  And that is starting to affect me.

Did you ever think that every choice you’ve ever made in your life was wrong?  It’s kind of a drag.  Everything I’ve done, and I mean everything, has been a dodge, an act, a scheme or a scam.  A juke and a jive away from the only thing I really want because I’ve been too afraid to let someone in, even the fucking Dream Girl.  What an asshole.

Ok, big finish.  Remember that scene I mentioned from The Natural?  Like, two hours ago?  After Robert Redford laments his lost chance to have broken every record in the book, Glenn Close gets philosophical.  ”I believe we have two lives… the life we learn with, and the life we live with after that.”  If that’s the case, then I guess my first life just Ended.  School’s out for me- knowledge acquired.  It just took too goddamn long.

This therapy stuff is the bee’s fuckin’ knees.

 

When I’m alone

When I’ve thrown off the weight of this crazy stone

When I’ve lost all care for the things I own

That’s when I miss you, that’s when I miss you, that’s when I miss you

You who are my home

You who are my home

And here is what I know now

Here is what I know now

Goes like this

In your love, my salvation lies

In your love, my salvation lies

In your love, my salvation lies

In your love, my salvation lies

In your love, my salvation lies

In your love, my salvation lies

In your love, my salvation lies

In your love, in your love, in your love

 

I’m so fucking Fucked.

 

 

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